@devotedstaguk honest account of the beginnings to our stag vixen journey.

My beautiful wife

“The trouble with you is, you always want more!” - Those words weren’t uncommon from the angry and frustrated voice of my wife when every couple of months we’d boil over when arguing about sex. That is until I found @keysandanklets on twitter.

Louise and I have been truly, madly and deeply in love for 25 years. Our love and attraction simply have not diminished at all and you could argue its only grown throughout our relationship. I couldn’t wish for a more loving, caring, supportive and faithful wife. She is the definition of a soulmate.

We have always had what we thought was a really good sex life and compared to many couples we know; we REALLY did have a great sex life! We kept lovehoney.com in business for 10 years buying vibrators, dildos and butt plugs of all shapes and sizes, lingerie, not to mention enjoying adventurous sex and

watching copious amounts of PornHub and Youjizz!!

So , you will be more than surprised to hear that nearly all of our arguments were caused by sex. I don’t mean arguments that are over in an hour and could be deemed as ‘Stupid Little Arguments’. Some arguments were pretty emotional and often with a decent amount of anger thrown in ……. Weird huh!? I also need to add that they were all started by me (husband) and id always end up admitting I was wrong and apologising!

Rewind to 2001 and we bought our first PC that came enabled with the first internet dial up modem. Like a lot of couples that have indulged any type of ethical non-monogamy our journey started at free porn, shortly after I found a swingers website called ‘Dean & Matty’s’. I don’t remember having too much of an issue with discussing or suggesting swinging with Louise but please remember, this was now 20 years ago, so some detail does escape me. We also joined SDC when it started as lifetime free members. Being on those two swingers websites we got to chat to many couples and single men. But I remember us both talking to a local couple via MSN instant messenger then swapping phone numbers. Instantly our phone rang, and my heart raced!! I didn’t know what to do so I looked at Lou in a bit of a panic and to my utter surprise (proof because I remember it vividly!) she sighed and swiped the phone from my hand and answered! She then went on to have a nice conversation with them both. We didn’t meet them probably due to Louise not totally being into meeting a couple, however I do remember being really surprised how confidently she answered the phone and had spoken to them. We proceeded to chat online to couples and actually really enjoyed some sexy cam session with couples and single males.

Thursday’s nights developed into a regular feature in our diaries that we creatively called our ‘Fun Night’. Lou would get dressed up in sexy underwear and heels and we’d have a few glasses of wine and have a sexy night, sometimes they were incredibly sexy! Sometimes we’d cam with men, couples or in SDC chatroom or MSN messenger, watch porn or massage each other. Very often the sex was great, and I still miss those nights! But the kids have grown up and they no longer want to put to bed at 8:00! So that put a stop to ‘Thursday night Fun Night’

About a year of playing on cam, chatting to couples but Louise was reluctant to physically meet yet enjoyed the fantasy of taking things further. One night after a heavy session at the pub we ended up spontaneously naked and swapping with a couple that we had known and been friends with for a long time! We had come back to our house and indulged in a game of ‘Spin the bottle’ ……. well it was always going end badly! (in a good way that is!) when the first dare was to remove her top! That story maybe another blog in the future but for the purpose of this blog I won’t go into detail.

We continued to have fun by chatting on cam with various people. Lou started to become a little more adventurous and we then went on to meet 2 single males (on separate occasions) where we had soft play fun (and I don’t mean the soft play that involves ball pits, slides and climbing frames), 1 very spontaneous and again drunk MMF with a very good friend of mine! After a night out that did end up in Lou having sex with him and me. A FFM hotel meet with a female we met online. The last of the meets was Lou on her own with a very nice female we met online and I am absolutely sure that will be another blog in the future. All of these encounters I was obviously totally ok with ……. Yes, and even when Lou fucked my best mate I look back with happy memories, no regrets from either me, Louise or best buddy!

So that’s the Matt and Lou sexual Curriculum Vitae and that lasted until 2006. And that’s it, that’s where involving other people into our relationship fizzled out and came to an end. Very much struggling with the vanilla cloud hanging over me and totally in denial I would set up profiles on Fab Swingers and show profiles of men or women and she’d say “No babe, I don’t need anyone else, I am happy with just me and you” Those words would be ‘relationship eutopia’ to any ‘normal’ person to hear!

However, I found her reaction incredibly frustrating, heart sinking to my shoe’s with disappointment and over many years of hearing it made me feel actually very unfulfilled and really very down at times. I had the most beautiful wife in the world, and I wanted to share her, see her enjoy herself, re-live the INCREDIBLY erotic images of past meets.

For the following years my behaviours are pretty depressing. I’d being jacking off most mornings before work watching porn and nearly always finding a scene where I could imagine the women as my wife. I started a profile on Fab Swingers that Lou didn’t know about. This was to try and satisfy my hunger to show off my pseudo Hotwife, put hot pics of her up and look at the likes and exchange messages with interested guys. I then looked at twitter and discovered a huge world of porn, wife sharing and sexy females sharing pics! “YES! This is what I’ll do, I will start a page and post pics of my utterly amazingly sexy wife!.......... I love guys getting turned on by her and this is a great way of satisfying my inner Stag!

Fast forward to a year later, and 57000 followers!!! ‘@louisemilf’ finds out, and the bomb goes off! She tells me in no uncertain terms what she thinks of my ridiculous selfish behaviours, “The trouble is with you, you always want more!” she’d say again! So obviously I promptly shut it down and lose her stadium full of admirers. Lou being absolutely correct in her anger towards me and yet again I had no defence at all, only inwardly beating myself up and thinking of myself as a perv, sex addict and generally an all-round horrible person for doing the things I have. These feelings went on for quite a few years.

There have been some quite difficult parts to write during this blog so far, but this paragraph is by far the hardest, but it needs to be said for a varity of reasons. In short, the years before twitter I strayed sexually from my marriage. It was with a couple within the lifestyle and was because of my pursuit of sexual gratification, it’s a moment I will regret forever. I knew it was dreadfully wrong at the time, it was an unforgivable act of selfishness at my lowest point, I am not making this an excuse or trying to justify my behaviour in anyway. You won’t be surprised to hear it didn’t cure the ‘Unfulfilled feeling’ in the slightest. I know that I deserve to feel that way and I whole heartedly accept my lifetime sentence of regret and guilt.

The way Lou stood by me is nothing short of heroic and no words can describe how much love and gratitude I feel for my her, she is the most incredible wife anyone could wish for.

I have debated with myself whether I should have added this to the blog but it is massively relevant to it and I guess I wanted to publicly apologise to my beautiful wife, and also hope that this addition to the whole blog may help other people whose brains are similarly wired.

So, with that BIG WHITE ELEPHANT now banished from the room albeit relevant and Important for me to acknowledge! We now move on to more positive times.

As is my atrocious behaviour using Twitter there was one HUGE benefit, and that is lifestyle podcasts. I stumbled upon the @keysandanklets twitter feed and naturally began to listen to Michael’s podcasts. Although I knew what hotwifing was, I didn’t REALLY know until now. Michael is a well-established bull and could be said an expert in his field. His guests on the podcasts are very generous in sharing their detail and experiences. The questions being asked and the stags, vixens and cucks going into detail cannot be underestimated as part of the unbelievably successful shift in our relationship. None more so than the amazing hotwife couple of @secret_vixen1 and her stag @secret_stag . I started to relate to a lot of things being said by all of them. Vixen in many ways was similar to Louise with her pre-hotwife lack of confidence, Stag was also very similar to me in his fantasies and what he wanted and gained from this lifestyle. My hunger grew more ravenous in the search of ‘Why’ and even from my desire to become more informed and knowing I am not alone, my mental state vastly improved. At this point I’d kept my ‘research’ to myself but once id found out enough, I was intent on discussing with Louise, after all one thing I have learned very early was communication is vital!

One of the biggest eureka moments when listening to these podcasts was that my ‘Stag’ tendencies are simply not something you can forget and in fact are quite normal, but and I had to find a way of letting Louise know what was in my head and how much it was actually part of who I am. Armed with a lot more knowledge and confidence I asked my incredible understanding wife if she would listen to the podcast that would seemingly change our life for the better. Lou obliged and I remember very clearly the following weekend Louise and I sat having a coffee on a Saturday morning and chatting about the podcast. Our chat was the most honest I think we have ever had about our feelings and when she said that she didn’t understand it before, but she now understands that it’s not something I can switch off it was a HUGE relief. And then the words that I will never ever forget hearing came out of her mouth “Look, I won’t promise anything, but I will be open minded about it and we can look for people and see what happens”. I am totally not embarrassed to say that we both hugged and got ended up getting emotional together. My tears were definitely related to a sense of relief and I think it was Lou’s too.

Shortly after we went to Amsterdam for a weekend, although this was already booked before our pretty major shift in our marriage it would transpire that Amsterdam was one of our best weekends away due to our new honest and open dialogue. We had steered away from our ‘Normal’ ways and now also talking during sex about Louise being with another man and how much we would both love it. I also think hotels help us; they are horny places for some couples after all! Whilst all this is happening Louise turned 50 and I promise you that she looks incredible for 30 let alone 50! And to my joy people are telling her and she is enjoying it! Things are going so very well for us both because Lou’s never been that confident and now, she is starting to realise she is hot! …. Very hot! And it’s not just me telling her.

When people call it a lifestyle, I now understand it. And although that is a BIG word and seems like a commitment to submerse yourself into the ‘Stag / Vixen’ relationship, it really doesn’t have to be. I interpret the term ‘lifestyle’ as describing the wider relationship benefits between husband and wife, it’s more about the benefits that come from the flirting, sexy messaging and meets.

Our desired outcome of Lou having sex with another men is finding people she has a connection with and not simply a ‘fuck and go’ scenario. That’s just our preference and accept and understand other scenarios and also accept they can be very hot! but that’s not for us right now. We have now met 4 guys for social meets only and 3 of those evenings out have ended up with Lou enjoying very sexy kisses with them and 1 a little more than a kiss. The pre meet text flirting, the way Lou dresses for the socials, the flirting at the pub and then the possible kiss goodbye is incredibly sexy for us both.

I think a blog on our intro into the Stag / Vixen lifestyle is best suited to another time, if of course people are interested.

I described our sex life earlier in this blog, the toys, our adventurous practices and the porn we watched. These days our sex is far less adventurous, we haven’t used a toy for 6 months, only watched porn twice and that’s been Hotwife amateur porn. Boring in comparison? Not at all! The emotional connection, passion and sense of fulfilment is off the charts! …. As are a lot of Lou’s orgasms these days!

I also opened up about playing with a couple without Lou knowing, the twitter account and fab profile that Lou didn’t know about, I mentioned my feelings of thinking I was a pervert, sex addict and dirty. Now I realise that simply isn’t true at all. The issue was that I didn’t understand my ‘stag’ brain, the psychology and if I didn’t understand that how could I expect my wife to! Now my wife understands it, accepts it and is really enjoying it with me. She walks with confidence & sass, knows she’s hot and has a devilish glint in her eye! This truly is a gift of a lifetime for me and it feels unbelievable! I genuinely feel privileged to have got to this point with Lou and that both of us are enjoying the journey.

I want to close this out by saying since we both sat at the breakfast bar having a coffee that Saturday morning our life’s together have never been better and in fact for me it has been the best 6 months of my life because I am truly being the person I want to be having opened up to my incredible wife. I have no dark temptation to stray from my idyllic marriage, I am happy and fulfilled. My days are sunny even when it’s raining, and our happiness is immeasurable!

#hotwife #stagvixen